Who knows how many times I was raped.
loool questions best left unanswered :p
i've flown transatlantic at least a dozen times both ways (no homo) and fortunately never had any
really painful experiences, the whole experience is kind of shit overall I mean it's hard not to get cabin fever when you're locked in a fucking box hurtling through the atmosphere for that length of time.
i had to pay an extortion fee just to get out of the shitty mayan-themed airport in el salvador, which sucked, but fortunately it wasn't a lot of dolo.
oh, almost got strip searched in Cuba. you know those bulky gray tags they staple to clothes at places like Winners to prevent you from walking out the exit without setting off those magnetic gates? Yea, turns out they actually use them shits to flag travelers for random searches in Cuba. I had no fucking idea, so when I found the tag on my bag I just tore it off and made my merry way through the gates no probs. A member of my party was not so blissfully ignorant and so my buddy and I had to wait for him in the airport lobby for about two hours. Fortunately the airport had a baseball game on every screen in the lobby instead of actual, you know, flight information. When my strip-searched mate finally emerged from behind the frosted glass he looked a shambles, just as I opened my mouth he said "i don't want to talk about this, EVER". never seen him so livid.
i also got flagged for a customs search last time i got back to Canada which was
really fucking annoying, fortunately still had some charge left in my ballin LG flip phone so I was able to text my buddy and let him know I would be indefinitely delayed while the five south east asian gentlemen ahead of me had their cardboard boxes of freeze-dried fish checked, not to mention the various arab families carrying more personal luggage than a fucking shiek. I made a point of complaining loudly to the only other white guy in line, to which the response was designating me a personal handler to placate me.