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19th Bday in one week. What should i get smashed with?

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TurboTaco

TurboTaco

TD Admin
My friend at U Ottawa Med School was telling me how one emergency patient came in to find out why he had pains in his ass.

Turns out the guy (gay) was pleasuring himself with a wine bottle when he was drunk, fell asleep, and awoke to pains in his ass without a wine bottle in sight.

A couple xrays later, they found the bottle lodged in his colon and lower bowel region (tip of the bottle). Guy ended up having the bottle pulled through his stomach via surgical incision lolol. Tarin be warned!
 
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Doolox

[quote1251734446=TurboTaco]
My friend at U Ottawa Med School was telling me how one emergency patient came in to find out why he had pains in his ass.

Turns out the guy (gay) was pleasuring himself with a wine bottle when he was drunk, fell asleep, and awoke to pains in his ass without a wine bottle in sight.

A couple xrays later, they found the bottle lodged in his colon and lower bowel region (tip of the bottle). Guy ended up having the bottle pulled through his stomach via surgical incision lolol. Tarin be warned!
[/quote1251734446]

I heard of a story like that @ Trent U, however this involved a girl, a washing maching and the stick of a broom. :D
 
TurboTaco

TurboTaco

TD Admin
Man, meds students bear witness to and hear some of the greatest stories ever.

What til you hear about penile-implants for people with erectile dysfunction, shit will make you laugh and squirm!
 
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Doolox

One of my buddies is a doctor now..
He walks in to a waiting room without reading the patient's chart and asks 'so what seems to be the problem, sir?'
The man replies to my friend (the doctor), "Nothing you asshole, I just have a question!"

LOL.. Who the f@ck calls a doctor an asshole without any prior interaction?
 
Pwnion

Pwnion

TD Member
lol can't believe 47 had some actaul sane advice on the first page of this thread. I would agree with him, drink beer if you wanna actually enjoy the night, try not to accept too many shots from mofos tryin to get your ruined, that always turns out badly, just ask spinny :P
 
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Doolox

[quote1251741665=TurboTaco]
people who dislike docotrs
[/quote1251741665]
Seems a little illogical to have such a distaste for those in a profession of care.
 
Leroy

Leroy

2012 Troll of the Year
I have a story:

I was playing rugby, and I got my lip ripped in two (vertically), so I was at the hospital, bleeding all to fuck. I was in the waiting room (picture a large, half naked man bleeding all to fuck, waiting) and people were avoiding me like the plague.. I got hastened through to get stitched up, and two doctors came in. One seemed a little nervous, and was asking what I felt to be very basic qusetions (what needle are we using?) While the doctor was fumbling around, with a needle of the freezing stuff in my mouth, I asked

"You're not really a doctor, are you?"

he replied

"No, I'm a second med student"

Oh great, so after he did a half-ass job of freezing my mouth, he started stitching it up. It hurt like a mother fucker, so I was yelling a bit, and it would make him stop. Finally I just told him to stitch the fucker up and stop dancing around.

So after my face was all stitched up, I politely thanked the docs and when I was signing out (still bloody and now with a stitched up face) I asked the triage nurse out on a date, (which she replied no, and looked like she was going to vomit) and then went back to the rugby game and started to drink. yaaaay!
 
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Doolox

You are one gay Gypsy, Leroy.. Way to make sure the stitched up area doesn't bleed out by claiming to pound back a few pops..
I couldn't imagine drinking after a few stitches around the mouth, hence I agree with TT & think that part of the story is fabricated. The alcohol, in fact anything, would sting like f@ckin hell. You'd be eating out of a straw after taking a gash like that. You definitely wouldn't be able to give you teammates head for a few weeks...
 
Leroy

Leroy

2012 Troll of the Year
Nope, its true, fuckholes, every single last word, and I did drink, and it was out of a straw...
 
TurboTaco

TurboTaco

TD Admin
attached to your anus...the same that spews the verbal diarrhea u come up with!

Leroy the LiRing White-Man-Who-Wants-To-Be-Black Gypsy
 
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Doolox

[quote1251749977=TurboTaco]
attached to your anus...the same that spews the verbal diarrhea u come up with!

Leroy the LiRing White-Man-Who-Wants-To-Be-Black Gypsy
[/quote1251749977]

Yeah, and if it came out of his ass. There was probably... jizz in it! WhaT A F@G!
 
Spinny

Spinny

TD Admin / Giant Faggot
You pussy Leroy! Stitches don't even hurt :P

I had a couple stitches on the top of my head when I was around 10 years old, I was up at my cottage so I went to the ghetto ass hospital and they didnt even have freezing... I sat in the waiting room for 3 hours with ice on my head, and finally got in to get the stitches... laughed my ass off while they did it, pain use to make me laugh, not so much anymore, maybe a little...

and I've had stitches on my chin from going over my handlebars on my bike at like age 16, 6 stitches, didn't even feel it :P but this time it was frozen...

but ya, lips must hurt getting stitched up... is that why you pretend your black leroy? cause you got big ol' lips from the stitch up...
 
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DarkSiege

TD Member
You order up some Zombies and dont look back and keepem coming nothing beats 3 kinds of rums boys! Or if you want to remember stuff(boring) then drink vodka with powerAid, we call it a "medic", cuz theres no way your getting a hang over and no way your going to see the shitfaced feeling coming!
 
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