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So I guess I am New.

Discussion in 'Hey, I'm New Here!' started by BannerWolf, Sep 20, 2017.

  1. Argentina_158

    Argentina_158 DARKLY Regular

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  2. PointsofAuthority

    PointsofAuthority TF2 Staff

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    Good lord this thread, @Lone Star I hope your happy, you caused this poor soul so much pain and agony.
    #22
    BannerWolf likes this.
  3. Keskele

    Keskele Senior TF2 Staff

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  4. PointsofAuthority

    PointsofAuthority TF2 Staff

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    waiting for this next part is giving me blueballs :waitfeel:
    #24
  5. Argentina_158

    Argentina_158 DARKLY Regular

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  6. PointsofAuthority

    PointsofAuthority TF2 Staff

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  7. Argentina_158

    Argentina_158 DARKLY Regular

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    That picture says 1000 words about Lone X Banner Wolf.
    #27
  8. BannerWolf

    BannerWolf I'm New Here

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    Episode 3.
    Welcome my Lords and Ladies to the possibly true story of the dramatic events that have been unfolding on the Darkly TF2 servers. In order to add more people into the fanfic I will need beefing up the story with plot, so sorry if it is not as sex crazed and perverted as you were hoping. Also I am converting this epic fanfic into an audio book and if your character has been mentioned or you just want to take part add me on steam. BE WARNED THO if you do not take part someone will be playing your part and you do not want me to pick your voice actor.

    Last time on Darkly, Lone had left our protagonists, Points and Banner, vowing to steal Banner back from Points. Flying away on a chariot pulled by penguins, leaving Points and Banner in a lovers embrace, kissing passionately.
    Deep within the thunderous clouds of the ever storming Wahlgrim Mountains, lies the headquarters of the most sinister crime organization in all of Darkly, the League of Atomic Mighty Eels, also known as, LAME. Here, Lone and and his subordinates, pathetically come up with plans to take over the world. ( or at least Darkly). After changing out of the blue sun dress and into his evening gown, Lone posed for a moment to admire himself in the mirror. "Why, why did he leave me, am I not man enough for him?" as he slides his hand across his Hairy pecs and down to his rippling abbs. "Its his loss, I don't need him, I don't need anyone. All I need is myself. Mhhh ya." His heart beat started to speed up, as his hand kept going down. Finally his hand had reached its destination. All of a sudden, Bird Of Prey, Lone's #2 Henchmen, shouts out from the next room " you know I can hear you... right?". Lone realizing what had happened, quickly pulls his hand out of his pants, struggling to compose himself. Walking into the parlor, where Bird is sitting in a high back chair, next to a fire, Lone scoffed, "as if I care what you think." A knock on the parlor door, broke the silence. Bird proceeded over to the door, Bird "... well I hope you know what you're doing, because he's here." Bird was of course referring to Captain Vor, a short little penguin, even for penguin standards, but he had the face like someone had taken a shit in his cornflakes and not even said thankyou. Vor's cute little feet pitter-pattered as he walked over to the chairs where Lone was sitting. Having to give a little jump, in order to sit in the high back chair. His legs dangling over the edge like a little child. " Well are we ready" Vor asked with a hint of impatience in his voice. Lone said " Yes everything is in order, assuming all your operatives are in place." " Really, that's not what I have heard... I have been told that your love is right now gallivanting off with another. Was he not crucial to our plan?" Lone snapped back, "Yes I know I have someone on the task of fetching him as we speak. Vor... You do know the penguins will only follow his orders right?" Lone hissed menacingly, "Don't you worry Vor, you will have your vengeance for Valve enslaving your people. The days of Valve using your people to code all of their games is over." Over the mantle of the fireplace, hung a portrait of Gaben. Lone stood up and walked over to it. Carefully examining it, he lifted it down. Vor seeing this, walked over and asked... “May I see that for a sec" Lone said, “of course", handing it over. The portrait was taller than Vor, but that didn't stop him from pressing it up against the wall. Vor, staring deeply into the painting and uttering under his breath. "I am coming for you... I am going to fuck you Gaben" as he started to dry hump the painting.
    Meanwhile...

    After Banner and Points long embrace, they decided to head into town for something to eat. Walking slowly into town, Banner noticed an old hooded vendor, who croaked out to them " Scuse me lovely couple... would you like some free candy?" Banner and Points paused, surely this can't be true, free candy? especially when the leprechaun embargo has restricted all sweet things from entering Darkly. Banner was so astonished that this merchant even had, candy, replied, " For free what's the catch?" The mysterious merchant hurriedly replied" No catch, I simply saw a lovely couple walking down the street, and thought you deserved a treat. I was just about to close up shop anyways." Points quickly grabbed two lollipops and handed one over to Banner. "Thanks Oldtimer" said Points, as he took Banners' arm and they started skipping away into town, licking their lollipops. They were part way through the second skip, when they face planted into the ground, unconscious. Little did they know, that the hooded shopkeeper, was actually a hideous wizard, by the name of "Albanzchu". His face so mutilated, that it looked like he was shedding his skin, leaving a second black layer underneath. The wizard cackled as he walked over the to the unconscious travelers. Bending over to examine his catch, he stopped to sniff Banner's neck. Breathing in deeply, he liked what he smelled. "You will do nicely... very nicely" he proclaimed. Grabbing the both of them he threw them into the cart, with all the candy.
    Many hours later, Points eyes started to open to a dust filled cell. Shafts of light pouring through the bars of the window. A shadowy figure slumped against the wall, started to talk. "So he got you too hu? Let me guess, it was the porn stars "wanted ad" you fell for." Points still woozy, tried to talk, but only managed an incoherent gurgling. The mysterious stranger, seeing the lack of movement, got up and walked over to Points, and slapped him across the cheek. The sudden shock, jolted him and sparked something in his brain. He involuntarily blurted out in a sudden and sharp moment of clarity " I LOVE HITLER AND HITLER LOVES ME!" Shocked, the stranger stared confused at Points. Points realizing what he just said, immediately tried to take it back. " I have no idea why I just said that, honestly, It's just something I heard on a TV show..." The stranger interrupted, "Ok... so I am just going to pretend I didn't hear that. My name is Garrent, by the way." But before Points could reply, the rhythmic clanking of metal striking metal could be heard, as the Jailer dragged his keys across the metal bars of distant cells. Periodically the clanking would stop, and the gruff voice of Albanchu the Wizard, could be heard barking orders at presumably, other prisoners. Grabbing Points’ shoulders, Garrent turned Points to to face her. " Points" she said, a note of panic in her voice. " you can't let them find out that I am a girl." Points was very confused by this statement, because he had never seen a girl before, he had just heard of them in stories of of men who claimed they 'got lucky'. "Points, first off, you're not a girl. Secondly, why would anyone care if you are." An angry groan came from Garrent "you want proof, FINE!" Garrent grabbed Points hand, and guided it under, and up Garrent's shirt. Points' hand reached its soft pillowy target, he immediately realized what he was groping. Suddenly, from outside the cell, the clanking of keys had stopped. Albanchu was staring into the cell. Garrent hurriedly knocked Points' to the ground. In a comically deep voice, she said, "You wanna fight bro, hu, touch me again, I dare you." Points, laying on his back from being hit, and his hand still outstretched, twitching as if he was still groping some invisible boob. Albanchu was very confused from watching this. He came to the conclusion that they must have been fighting. He quickly unlocked the cell and grabbed Garrent by the wrist, pulling her out. Shouting, " GOOD... I like it when my contestants have fight in them, it makes it all the more sporting." Albanchu gave Points a hefty kick, snapping him to his senses. Points suddenly realized that Banner was nowhere to be found. " Wha-what do you want, and where's Banner?" Albanchu scoffed, "you mean that extremely attractive lady you were with? She's part of my harem now. No need to worry about her. You should be more concerned about yourself, considering you're taking part in the Great Games." Albanchu grabbed Points' arm, and pulling him up, dragged him out of the cell, all the while, Points thought to himself, "Her?... He is not a she, is this guy blind?"


    PART 4 COMING SOON
    #28
  9. Sir X:

    Sir X: DARKLY Regular

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    Banner....y tho.
    [​IMG]
    #29
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  10. BannerWolf

    BannerWolf I'm New Here

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    But why you know your in the next one
    #30
  11. Sir X:

    Sir X: DARKLY Regular

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    :2guns:
    #31
  12. PointsofAuthority

    PointsofAuthority TF2 Staff

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    :hurr:

    i groped a girls boob

    so i guess 10/10 :reallybrains:
    #32
  13. Keskele

    Keskele Senior TF2 Staff

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  14. ♥Captain Vor♥

    ♥Captain Vor♥ A Little Darkly

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    :meh::relaxing::fapfap::fapped::ilovecocks::milliondicks:Is what i was feeling part 1-3
    #34
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  15. PointsofAuthority

    PointsofAuthority TF2 Staff

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    You have to admit this is probably the most creative way to introduce yourself on the forums, by simply writing Darkly fan fiction, after this story concludes you need to write one about Keskele+Thanatos+Dooter+Tankclash.

    It will be the gayest thing ever, even Civord would be jealous.
    #35
    civord and ♥Captain Vor♥ like this.
  16. ♥Captain Vor♥

    ♥Captain Vor♥ A Little Darkly

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    Civord will probably not notice since he is AFK x3
    #36
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  17. TankClash

    TankClash TF2 Staff | Am Drunk

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  18. Tick Tock Man

    Tick Tock Man Senior TF2 Admin Staff Member

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    I just....

    I mean...

    I'mma go punch a kitten.
    #38
    PointsofAuthority likes this.
  19. Sir X:

    Sir X: DARKLY Regular

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    :kewl:
    #39
  20. Argentina_158

    Argentina_158 DARKLY Regular

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