I spent a lot of time on this, SO READ IT AND LAUGH.

[mandy]

Explaining the Video: Miley Cyrus' "Can't Be Tamed"
(Good lord, someone just shoot the child already.)

If you haven't seen it, which I doubt any of you have... it's here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjSG6z_13-Q

I'm going to be blunt: this really won't be much of an "Explaining the Video" because, well, it's pretty straightforward. But honestly, I didn't feel right NOT bitching about this video because, well...

...oh, look, there's a woman with a birdcage on her face.
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/6/2/1/orig-11059621.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
Oh, we are just getting STARTED.

So, anyway, there's this scholar/announcer/guy in a tuxedo announcing they've got this very rare specimen in captivity. And what could that be?
Avius Cyrus.

IE: Miley Cyrus AS A BIRD.

At first, she's turned away from the camera and we wonder, dear sweet Raptor Jesus, what could she look like? What kind of hideous combination of human and animal could this be? WOULD IT BE BANNED IN ARIZONA?
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/6/4/1/orig-11059641.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
AND THE BIG REVEAL:
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/6/5/1/orig-11059651.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
Oh. Oh, she's...she's got a lot of eye make-up on. That's...not really BIRDLIKE, but I'll hear you out.
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/6/6/1/orig-11059661.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
Oh yes. A UNITARD. There are SO MANY BIRDS WEARING UNITARDS.

Well, at least there's no badly CGI'd wings, right? Right?
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/7/1/1/orig-11059711.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
First of all: BAD CGI. VERY, VERY BAD CGI.

SECONDLY: Those wings in NO WAY could support Miley during flight. Biologically they are ridiculous.

THRIDLY: OMFG, YOU GUYS, MILEY CYRUS HAS WINGS WHAT THE HELL.



Also, she's supposedly this really rare creature, right? Well, suddenly a lot of OTHER bird-people pop up. Like, a lot of them.
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/7/2/1/orig-11059721.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
And I don't know if it occurred to the people who trapped her, but she is in the LEAST EFFECTIVE CAGE IN THE WORLD.
She slips RIGHT through the bars...

So, because she's now free, she and her bird people begin dancing around the place and wrecking shit up, yo. HARDCORE.
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/7/4/1/orig-11059741.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
And then Miley Cyrus is a peacock.
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/7/6/1/orig-11059761.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
I...uhm...I don't know if anyone informed anyone else during this shoot? But peacocks, the MALE of the species, are the ones with the brightly colored feathers. Peahens, the females, are actually very dull looking...
Back to the video: Miley and her horde of bird folks take over a statue and perch and dance and we get it, Miley. You're a bad girl.
Bad girl? Birdgirl? Whatever, you've got like three guys feeling you up at once. We get the idea.
But you're FREE! You can run away! You never have to go back to the cage!
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/8/7/1/orig-11059871.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
YOU WENT BACK TO THE CAGE SO YOU COULD POLE DANCE?! SERIOUSLY?!



Oh well, so long as the CGI wings don't come back.
[lightbox=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/0/5/9/8/8/1/orig-11059881.jpg|||]/lw.jpg[/lightbox]
FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT: Also, I'm ashamed we're the same bloody age.

 

[Hinouchi]

the wing are AWESOME and the boobies, that's all I really focus on the whole video .. lol XD

 

[Hawk-Eye]

Miley is ugly now...she is too OLD LoL

 

[Olst]

All I can say is: she's freakin pretty

 

[kanobiwan]

Who is old and still awesome? Racquel Darrian, best actress of all time. Even someone very particular would have to conquer.

I am very impressed at the attention to detail miss Mandy. Nice work!

 

[iSeize]

[quote1273368330=Mandy]
EDIT: Also, I'm ashamed we're the same bloody age.
[/quote1273368330]
so what you are saying is.....she has high school tomorrow??

 

[sir-drek]

ROFL Mandy. Good Read. And she's ugly as fuck - IMO.

 

[mandy]

[quote1273370087=iSeize]
[quote1273368330=Mandy]
EDIT: Also, I'm ashamed we're the same bloody age.
[/quote1273368330]
so what you are saying is.....she has high school tomorrow??
[/quote1273370087]
Uhm... yes :)

 

[Gump]

And then Miley Cyrus is a peacock.
best part especially if taken out of context

 

[Spinny]

most music videos produced these days are nothing short of garbage...

I can't even remember the last time I watched MuchMusic, trash tv.....

 

[Shortbus]

Goddamn this girl is ugly.

 

[Brains]

She's not bad looking

 

[Ba Chicka Wa Wa]

I'd bone her back in the day
I'd bone her right now
I'd even bone her when she's betty whites age!

 

[Steve]

I'd fuck that bitch and then rob her house while she sleeps.

 

[commander abdul]

[quote1273469451=Steve]
I'd fuck that bitch and then rob her house while she sleeps.
[/quote1273469451]

lol

 

[crojon]

i see a whole mountain of coke in her future. this kinda shit makes me disgusted that "real" musicians are no where near as famous as this little brat. but maybe that's a good thing.

 

[commander abdul]

[quote1273488674=CroJon]
i see a whole mountain of cock in her future.
[/quote1273488674]

fixed

 

[Narf!]

She's not that great looking, but fuck I'll do her. Those are some nice boobays

 

[skd_mrk]

Wow quite a post Mandy...honestly I can't bring myself to give two shits about whatever Miley does musically (if you can call it that) or otherwise to even analyze what all you wrote. Seems like it'd be a stupid video. I know music is your passion so feel free to rip on the ***** all you want.

Can't remember the last music video I watched...I think it was Weezer though. Haven't watched MTV or anything like that since the late 90's.

 

[auron]

Seems like an attempt to be like Gaga. Wasn't attractive for her. Some girls are attractive because they're "good girls"... Oh well.

Also, I thought the wings were alright looking. Just sayin.