Trust a woman?

[[503]Hoggslayer]

Here is my dilemma guys, my woman has this guy who is just a male friend, i don't like the friendship and have every reason to not condone this. so she tells me that her friend is gonna be staying the night because he got into it with his wife. i said him or me i will leave. so she lies to me and says i am going out with the girls. which infact she spent the night partying with him. the next day she comes home and flips out on me and kicks me out. says she don't want me in her life. so this guy has been staying with her at my house driving her truck. and the whole time she says to me "there's nothing going on between us" we're just friends. he msg me on fb and tried to say he isn't moving into my house and there is nothing going on between them. so i talk to this guys wife and start gutting the info i need to put this all together. i told her that my girl has always been honest and faithful to me.. she says well maybe she's not lying and maybe they are just "friends" i told her i can't make sense of it all due to all the lies i have been told. come to find out this is all her doing and could have been avoided if she would have not kicked her husband out. and she says that if they can work things out that he would come home. WELL i told her take one for the team so he will leave my house and i can go see my kids.she told me she would try. . dumb ass female drama. so in short my woman's telling me a half truth, there is some guy i have never spoken to living in my house and i haven't seen my kids in five days. i want to know what the majority has to say? would you believe a woman who has never done you wrong in the past? is there a guy and girl frienship without sex? should i just knuckle up and try to get her to let me come home? my thing is that even tho they may have never slept together they still cheated morally and that is what i think. give me some feedback.

 

[LT_Clash]

Hogg that sux and it sounds kinda fishy to me but seeing as he got kicked out by his wife idk and you getting kicked out at the same time seems alittle strange. at least he had the curtisy to message you. idk tho i think i would trust her for now but id still try and find out whats going on from some other means. seems to be a few details that have been left out tho like why he was kicked out to begin with if this guys wife thought he was cheating then id say theres cause for alarm but if not id trust your woman. hope this helps and good luck.

and imo its wrong to keep you away from your kids

 

[[503]Hoggslayer]

thanx clash,

 

[Leroy]

yeah, sounds like a sticky situation just because of the kids. Dilly of a pickle, bud.

 

[APESJIT]

I had some serious trust issues with my gf in the past, but we been together 4 years now and things are good.
But if there are trust issues, they need to be resolved, or things will never be good.
I don't know your wife man, but to take a friend over a husband especially when there are kids involved seems insane...
Maybe she didn't like you forcing her to make a choice, but you had a problem with it and she should respect that...
I would try and talk to this "friend" face-2-face and get a feeling of what the truth of the matter is..
Good luck man :/

 

[mandy]

ok hogg, here's a little girl advice.

from what im reading, there's obviously some kind of conflict going on between what happened with her and this guy friend. first off, i really dont think shes doing anything with him. how long have they been friends? if hes been a good friend for a long time, then i completely understand. its hard to explain but women tend to stick to guy friends that theyve known for a really long time. i have one and he always made my ex jealous, but that was only because ive known him longer.

anyways, if i were you, id try and talk to her. tell her what youre observing. dont yell. just have a civilized conversation stating the facts and wait for her reply. give her the opportunaty to explain to you wants going on. if she bitches you out, well, then thats her fault and maybe that just means you should leave it alone. but for your sanity, i seriously doubt anything is going on. just a simple act of kindness towards a friend.

also, try apologising. even though it may not be your fault, trust me, apologise to her and youll see things will begin to clear up. im sure she loves you very much.

good luck

 

[dead mike]

personally this is an unacceptable situation, i think you should trust your wife, but at the same time, a strange male in the house is no good. try to get your wife to see (through words) what she would think if you brought a female home from work to stay in your house, see how jealous she will feel.

she's been with you long enough and you have history, put your foot down on this, if the male friend doesn't see the damage he is doing, he's not a real friend, your kids don't deserve this drama and seeing their father being hurt is no good for their self esteem.


also give the guy staying in your house (probably rent free) fair warning that his days are numbered and be up front, he make a move by tomorrow or you gonna kick his ass out and if that means he gets hurt too fuckin bad. wait till your wife is gone, and no witnesses, to tell him this, be aware of cellphones as recording devices. but fuck that he's not related and you have too much invested to let this slide.

male/female left alone will turn into fornication or adultery eventually.

 

[Narf!]

[quote1259957855=[503]Hoggslayer]
Here is my dilemma guys, my woman has this guy who is just a male friend, i don't like the friendship and have every reason to not condone this. so she tells me that her friend is gonna be staying the night because he got into it with his wife. i said him or me i will leave. so she lies to me and says i am going out with the girls. which infact she spent the night partying with him. the next day she comes home and flips out on me and kicks me out. says she don't want me in her life. so this guy has been staying with her at my house driving her truck. and the whole time she says to me "there's nothing going on between us" we're just friends. he msg me on fb and tried to say he isn't moving into my house and there is nothing going on between them. so i talk to this guys wife and start gutting the info i need to put this all together. i told her that my girl has always been honest and faithful to me.. she says well maybe she's not lying and maybe they are just "friends" i told her i can't make sense of it all due to all the lies i have been told. come to find out this is all her doing and could have been avoided if she would have not kicked her husband out. and she says that if they can work things out that he would come home. WELL i told her take one for the team so he will leave my house and i can go see my kids.she told me she would try. . dumb ass female drama. so in short my woman's telling me a half truth, there is some guy i have never spoken to living in my house and i haven't seen my kids in five days. i want to know what the majority has to say? would you believe a woman who has never done you wrong in the past? is there a guy and girl frienship without sex? should i just knuckle up and try to get her to let me come home? my thing is that even tho they may have never slept together they still cheated morally and that is what i think. give me some feedback.
[/quote1259957855]

Mmm...I don't think you should've given your girl an ultimatum because 9 times out of 10 she will choose the option that spites you. I can see why you were mad because she told you half truths and what not but I think you should trust your woman on this one. I hope things work out bud :)

 

[[503]Hoggslayer]

Mandy, she has known him no longer than a year. and i have apologized. but when i said i would say i am sorry for threatening him she got nice and even told me goodnight.

Mike, i agree with you . and i have tried to flip the script and make her see it the other way around. she just wants whats she wants. and that is to be selfish.

 

[Pyro]

[quote1259958417=dead mike]
personally this is an unacceptable situation, i think you should trust your wife, but at the same time, a strange male in the house is no good. try to get your wife to see (through words) what she would think if you brought a female home from work to stay in your house, see how jealous she will feel.

she's been with you long enough and you have history, put your foot down on this, if the male friend doesn't see the damage he is doing, he's not a real friend, your kids don't deserve this drama and seeing their father being hurt is no good for their self esteem.


also give the guy staying in your house (probably rent free) fair warning that his days are numbered and be up front, he make a move by tomorrow or you gonna kick his ass out and if that means he gets hurt too fuckin bad. wait till your wife is gone, and no witnesses, to tell him this, be aware of cellphones as recording devices. but fuck that he's not related and you have too much invested to let this slide.

male/female left alone will turn into fornication or adultery eventually.
[/quote1259958417]
you sir, frighten me.

hogg man, is this woman your wife? common-law or otherwise? you may really want to be careful how you approach this if you don't want to lose her. best way to do this: talk to the guy face to face. figure out what the fuck his purview is; why does he see no problem with staying with another man's woman and kids while that other guy is out on the damn street. go from there. obviously i don't know what kind of people they are, so its up to you to gauge how best to approach your partner and her 'friend.'
that being said, kids always need to come first. when you become a parent, your interests and preferences must take the back seat for at least 16-18 years. im sure you've realized this already, but man dont forget. so if the only way to protect your kids' well-being and keep them from turning into broke-ass trailer trash scum is for you to break it off with the lady, then... well that's for you to figure out. like i said, nobody here knows as much as you do about your relationships, so we can just tell you general advice.

and we can wish you good fucking luck!

 

[OG buckshot jr]

Are you fuckin shitting me? Are you really fucking serious?

GO back in YOUR house, NOW. Kick that lazy, free-loading, wife-stealing motherfucker OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, and tell your wife that if she's THAT concerned with someone who's NOT her husband's welfare, she can join them. But the you are living in YOUR OWN house, with YOUR kids.

Stand up brotha. Even in court (should she be a bitch about it), you can say having affairs around the kids is hurting them and BAM, you got house/custody.

Grow some, and get your house and kids back before it's too late.

 

[dead mike]

"A guest's status as a trespasser arises as soon as he resists the property owner's command for him to leave the property."


"A property owner may use reasonable (typically meaning nondeadly) force to expel a trespasser. However, a property owner may not force a trespasser off his land if doing so would expose the trespasser to a risk of serious injury. For example, a trespasser who takes shelter in a stranger's barn during a powerful storm cannot be expelled until the storm is over."


when u kick this guy out, think about what your going to do to minimize risks, being violent will not help you see your kids, maybe just tell him over the phone to leave, then call the cops and meet them at your house to bounce him off the property under their watch. imply your scared that the male in your house is violent, and might have a gun or somthing

class is done now, good luck.

 

[[503]Hoggslayer]

Thanx bj, and lol mike, i am trying to keep this as drama free as possible. she just don't want to talk to me yet and that is the only way to resolve this. that is why she is hesitant. she enjoys the freedom . good but the kids yo, think about the kids. she will not and that is bad. i will try to speak to him today but i fear he is dodging me.

 

[APESJIT]

Why havent you been introduced to her close friend of a year plus ? I dont know everything Ornella does, nor would I want to, however, I know her close friends...
Im not implying anything here dude, I just think its odd.

 

[HooB.wg]

[quote1259962154=OG buckshot jr]
Are you fuckin shitting me? Are you really fucking serious?

GO back in YOUR house, NOW. Kick that lazy, free-loading, wife-stealing motherfucker OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, and tell your wife that if she's THAT concerned with someone who's NOT her husband's welfare, she can join them. But the you are living in YOUR OWN house, with YOUR kids.

Stand up brotha. Even in court (should she be a bitch about it), you can say having affairs around the kids is hurting them and BAM, you got house/custody.

Grow some, and get your house and kids back before it's too late.
[/quote1259962154]

I agree dude, think about the kids in this situation. What the fuck is going on in their minds? I don't want to worry you but honestly, you have EVERY right to see your children and should NEVER feel restricted to that.

When it comes to your wife it's you that has to decide whether you trust her or not. I have been in many sketchy situations with my girlfriend in the past and 9 times out of 10 it wasn't what I thought it was (good thing). Everyone has trust issues so I totally cannot blame you for the way you are feeling. Like many others have said, you should probably have a sit-down with this guy whether you want to or not. Nobody has the right to come into your home with your family while you are away like that. It's just not right, if he had of known better, when he knew of these problems between you and your wife, he should have left the fucking house out of respect for you.

Everything will turn out alright brotha, hang in there <3

 

[B.From.Acc]

[quote1259965829=HooB.wg]
[quote1259962154=OG buckshot jr]
Are you fuckin shitting me? Are you really fucking serious?

GO back in YOUR house, NOW. Kick that lazy, free-loading, wife-stealing motherfucker OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, and tell your wife that if she's THAT concerned with someone who's NOT her husband's welfare, she can join them. But the you are living in YOUR OWN house, with YOUR kids.

Stand up brotha. Even in court (should she be a bitch about it), you can say having affairs around the kids is hurting them and BAM, you got house/custody.

Grow some, and get your house and kids back before it's too late.
[/quote1259962154]

I agree dude, think about the kids in this situation. What the fuck is going on in their minds? I don't want to worry you but honestly, you have EVERY right to see your children and should NEVER feel restricted to that.

When it comes to your wife it's you that has to decide whether you trust her or not. I have been in many sketchy situations with my girlfriend in the past and 9 times out of 10 it wasn't what I thought it was (good thing). Everyone has trust issues so I totally cannot blame you for the way you are feeling. Like many others have said, you should probably have a sit-down with this guy whether you want to or not. Nobody has the right to come into your home with your family while you are away like that. It's just not right, if he had of known better, when he knew of these problems between you and your wife, he should have left the fucking house out of respect for you.

Everything will turn out alright brotha, hang in there <3
[/quote1259965829]
+1 to both of you.

hoob is right, from my personal experience too, 9 times out of 10 it is nothing.

BUT SERIOUSLY, a 'friend' living your house with your kids. he has no right to be there ESPECIALLY if you and your wife haven't really talked about how each of you are feeling / seeing things.

you have your head on straight, i know that because like you said, talking is the only way this will get resolved. and also from what you have told us, her actions are not rational AT ALL, and her thinking and acting this way has no place in a marriage.

but like you and other people have said be cool and rational about it until you know everything.

hang in there, i'm rootin'

 

[TurboTaco]

Confront the friend. You don't even need to be cordial with the guy. Find out what he's doing, when he says 'nothing' then tell him to get the fuck out of your house. If your wife has a problem with that, then there are serious underlying issues with her. If she says she understands how you feel, yet goes against what she says then she is being hypocritical and doesn't really give a shit about how you feel.

I know you prob wouldn't want to think about getting a split, but you need to see a lawyer and ask for some pro bono advice in case it turns into a legal battle down the road. Preperation is really important and a lawyer will tell you your rights, her rights, this 'friend's' rights and the proper steps to take.

Your kids are the most important thing here, and if your wife doesn't see that all this drama is going to be detrimental to them, then you need to put your fut down and be the one to think for YOUR family. She obviously doesn't seem to see the big picture.

 

[OG buckshot jr]

Or give us your address. 47, Mike and his Quran and I will come 'visit' this mofaka late one night as he gets off. I'll do some scopin, catch his routine then BAM! he won't like your crib no mo :|

EDIT: that sneaky-ass punk sum ma ma bitch...

(I forgot to curse at the cocksucker).

 

[mandy]

[quote1259987349=OG buckshot jr]
Or give us your address. 47, Mike and his Quran and I will come 'visit' this mofaka late one night as he gets off. I'll do some scopin, catch his routine then BAM! he won't like your crib no mo :|

EDIT: that sneaky-ass punk sum ma ma bitch...

(I forgot to curse at the cocksucker).
[/quote1259987349]
LMFAO!!! !heart

 

[TD|night blade]

BJ is right, I know you don't want drama but if a stranger was living in my house with my wife & kids i'd lay it down. Be nice, but don't let this continue, the longer it drags on the more comfy the guy will become, be nice until being nice is not working, that's how I am.