Ten Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents

[omission]

Ten Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents
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1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.

2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?

3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head?

4. Can you believe it! Those shitheads at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!

5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.

6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable, in my opinion.

7. Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.

8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?

9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.

 

[Pyro]

omission's standard morning:
-wake up late because of retirement and last night's drinking
-check e-mail
-copy chainmail from second cousin, twice removed
-paste chainmail on TD forums

 

[omission]

[quote1256694004=Pyro]
omission's standard morning:
-wake up late because of retirement and last night's drinking
-check e-mail
-copy chainmail from second cousin, twice removed
-paste chainmail on TD forums
[/quote1256694004]

-Inaccurate: I come alive at sunrise to take my daughter to university.
-On the nail with e-mail: I do have a business that requires e-mail.
-Accurate: It’s a lot better then the 50 thousand ytube videos covering the forums with worthless and offensive material.