omission
TD Admin
Newly Discovered Computer Viruses
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Bill Clinton Virus: Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory, then won't let you query the system for information.
Al Gore Virus: Runs quietly in background mode, but doesn't appear to really do much of anything.
Kenneth Starr Virus: Completely examines every aspect of your computer, then compiles a complex report that discredits every aspect of your computer. Expands a focused search of a specific file into a global interrogation of every existing file. Creates links between unrelated data. Works extremely slow while searching and compiling results.
Linda Tripp Virus: Makes copies of your personal files and forwards them to the authorities.
Monica Lewinsky Virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
Ronald Reagan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
Viagra Virus: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
Prozac Virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care. Titanic virus Your whole computer goes down.
Disney Virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
HBO Virus: Runs the same programs over and over, week after week after week.
Woody Allen Virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
Ellen Degeneres Virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC, and disks can no longer be inserted.
Tim Allen Virus: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.
Jerry Seinfeld Virus: Program about nothing that exits when you're really enjoying it.
Pee Wee Herman Virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone.
X-files Virus: All your Icons start shape shifting.
Sharon Stone Virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.
David Caruso NYPD Blue Virus: After running successfully for a while, it exits the program it was in and never works again.
Spice Girls Virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.
George Michaels Virus: Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.
NFL Blackout Virus: Will only let you run progams on a remote terminal that's more than 75 miles away.
Mike Tyson Virus: Quits after one byte.
Lorena Bobbit Virus: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus: Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.
Saddam Hussein Virus: Won't let you into any of your programs.
Tonya Harding Virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
Joey Buttafuoco Virus: Only attacks minor files.
Rush Limbaugh Virus: Biases everything to the right.
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Bill Clinton Virus: Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory, then won't let you query the system for information.
Al Gore Virus: Runs quietly in background mode, but doesn't appear to really do much of anything.
Kenneth Starr Virus: Completely examines every aspect of your computer, then compiles a complex report that discredits every aspect of your computer. Expands a focused search of a specific file into a global interrogation of every existing file. Creates links between unrelated data. Works extremely slow while searching and compiling results.
Linda Tripp Virus: Makes copies of your personal files and forwards them to the authorities.
Monica Lewinsky Virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
Ronald Reagan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
Viagra Virus: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
Prozac Virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care. Titanic virus Your whole computer goes down.
Disney Virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
HBO Virus: Runs the same programs over and over, week after week after week.
Woody Allen Virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
Ellen Degeneres Virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC, and disks can no longer be inserted.
Tim Allen Virus: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.
Jerry Seinfeld Virus: Program about nothing that exits when you're really enjoying it.
Pee Wee Herman Virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone.
X-files Virus: All your Icons start shape shifting.
Sharon Stone Virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.
David Caruso NYPD Blue Virus: After running successfully for a while, it exits the program it was in and never works again.
Spice Girls Virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.
George Michaels Virus: Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.
NFL Blackout Virus: Will only let you run progams on a remote terminal that's more than 75 miles away.
Mike Tyson Virus: Quits after one byte.
Lorena Bobbit Virus: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus: Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.
Saddam Hussein Virus: Won't let you into any of your programs.
Tonya Harding Virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
Joey Buttafuoco Virus: Only attacks minor files.
Rush Limbaugh Virus: Biases everything to the right.
