CHARLIE HORSE!!!! - A tale of midnight horror and all things strange.

[Keeripes!]

Tuesday October 21st, 2008.
3:15 am.

I find I am not as comfortable on my left side as I should be, and amidst a fog of slumbering splendor I decide to undergo a complete 180 degree turn and rock it on the right for a bit. Midway through the operation (codenamed Comfort Seeker) my 85% comatose brain decides I should slightly stretch my right leeeEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OOOOO GOOOOODDDDDD FUUUCK JESUS GOD HELP ME AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAARGH AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAA .

This trend continues for about 3 minutes, my right calf has gone from garden of comfort to a source of pain analogous to ten concurrent anal rapings. I am desperately trying to straighten my leg and get my foot perpendicular to my shin, but the charlie horse as literally locked my foot inline with it (pointing straight down). For what seems like hours I roll around on my bed trying not to scream, and am thinking this is the worst charlie horse I have ever gotten. Suddenly the pain goes away.... and then the strange shit starts happening. My right foot is completely numb... pins and needles starting to become noticeable.

I feel my right foot loosen slightly and I decide to use my left foot to force my right foot perpendicular to my shin. I waterfall of blood trapped in my calf flows directly to my foot and though sore, my calf starts to feel better while the foot comes back to life. Then it happens... I begin to shiver. Shiver like I am naked and caught in Lake Superior in the middle of January. I start to shake so violently that my neck begins to pinch. I can barely breathe. I struggle out of my bed (a $50 semi-inflated air mattress) and limp to my dresser. Now shaking out of control I put on THREE layers of clothing and climb back into bed. My face is ICE cold. I pull my blanket over my head and suffer for about maybe ten minutes until the shivering begins to stop.

and I think, this could possibly be the craziest charlie horse story ever.

Got any of your own?

 

[Leroy]

This is funny, because this is the exact same reaction I get when you kill me. Repeatedly.

Nice wordsmithing though :)

 

[Patriot]

Um, I would say that's not a charlie horse but some other serious medical condition that will rape you later in life, but other then that, you seem fine...

 

[auron]

[quote1224619088=Patriot]
Um, I would say that's not a charlie horse but some other serious medical condition that will rape you later in life, but other then that, you seem fine...
[/quote1224619088]
I think you had a seizure. May want to talk to a doctor.

 

[Kirock]

Extreme case of low potassium. Eat a banana and wash it down with Gatorade.

 

[TurboTaco]

How old are u man? It's a common growing pain. I had em happen to me too, just like ur saying. Ur muscle constricts and you are unable to extend your leg without agonizing pain. Happens if u work your legs out a lot without proper stretching before and after, leads to constrictions like that.

 

[Keeripes!]

Whatever it was... it was CRAZY AS F**K.

 

[Pyro]

i get these pains from time to time in my calfs and my feet as well. the shivering bit seems a bit strange but the numb foot was probably just asleep. somebody call house.

 

[B3tt3rMan]

That's not a charlie horse...

That's what is called a cramp, I used to get them the odd time after hockey/working out.

When you use your muscles your body builds up amino acids that cause these cramps.

Calcium, Potassium, and magnesium all help with your muscles ability to A. Heal B. Regenerate C. Grow and finally D. Clear amino and Carboxyl from your system.

 

[ACE68]

I believe a charlie horse is another word for muscle cramp

 

[DrUgZ]

Fuck i got one for you. Im 24, healthy, active, work my ass off every day in construction. One morning I wake up and my shoulder is tight as fuck, i mean really tight like i can barely move the fucker. so I go to work and tell my boss im all janketty janked and I cant really do much, so he just gave me some easy jobs. around lunch, I cant move my arm arm at all. my shoulder is tight as fuck and im rendered useless. So I go home and figure ill see the doctor the next day.

Next day i go to the doctor and he basically says i must have pulled it and tells me to see a physio therapist. I also notice that my wrist is starting to get sore on my other arm. I think nothing of it because ive been dragging my ass around by my other arm all day cause i cant use my left.

Next day I try to get out of bed, pull my ass up with my good arm, and as i go to stand up i fall flat on my face. My fucking leg just collapses right from under me. I look at my knee and its the size of a fucking grapefruit. Now im freakin out cause i think im falling apart for no reason. So i go to the hospital and get poked and prodded for around 8 hours before they put me in a room and i can relax.

The next day my other knee is swollen up just like the first and now my ankles are so tight i cant straighten out my feet. finaly the doctor comes in and tells me that I have "reactive arthritis" some sort of reaction to an infection or some shit, they cant figure out how i got it. So now i have this reaction to god knows what, and it ends up affecting every joint in my body. fingers, toes, you name it.

That was 2 months ago and i still can barely handle a flight of stairs. fuckin BS 24 years old and i cant walk. Im gettin alot better now but i bet itll be another month before i can go back to work. Thats some fucked up shit!

 

[td|35mm]

As a jk ... maybe you should lay low on "drugz" for a while :P.

But yea ... that is bad ... hope you will get better soon.

 

[Brains]

i used to get those too and then i found a cure for it, just push your leg against a wall with some force and it goes away

 

[Brains]

that was to keeripes post*

hope u get better drugs

 

[B3tt3rMan]

Charlie horse is typically used when you get hit in the leg and the bruising causes a lack of muscle reaction.

A cramp is a build up of amino acids basically.

 

[ACE68]

huh, iv always been calling those painfull muscle cramps charlie horses.

The worst epic cramps I ever get are from after paintballing.

I used toi live in owen sound, and like 5 times a year we would drive 2.5 hours over to wasaga beach paintball, and play for like 7 hours, then go get sum supper after the place closes then drive back to owen sound. Now let me tell you. Paintballing + sitting in generally the same position for 2 hours is a recipie for pain when you get out of the car at the end!

 

[Kirock]

The shoulder part of your story, Drugz, sounded a lot like what I had 4 yrs ago. They called it frozen shoulder, it's an inflammation within the muscle. In my case caused by falling down a flight of stairs trying to carry my buddy in his wheelchair. Yes beer was involved, I tripped over a bottle someone had left on the stairs.
I really tore the muscle in my right shoulder bad and could hardly move it for 3 days. After that the strength came back and it was fine, never saw the doctor.

3 months later, I wake up in the middle of the night to someone moaning, it was me. I go to get up and my right shoulder feels like there's a 1000 pieces of glass deep inside the muscle.

For the next 4 days I treat myself with aspirin, massages, hot packs etc. Nothing, the pain is so bad I can't sleep at night, or wake myself up moaning. At 4:30am on day 5 I somehow drive myself to the emerg room. They take xrays, try to move my arm, no fking way!, etc. He said it's inflammation from the 3 month old injury and puts me one anti-inflammatories. About 4 days later it starts to feel better, by the last day (10) it's almost 100% and was able to work the rest out on my own.

Fking most painful thing I've ever had. I've broken 3 bones in both hands at the same time. Tore my knee apart pretty good playing baseball. Jumped off a wall and smashed my femor and tibia together so hard I broke a chunk off the tibia....pfff, those were nothing compared to this frozen shoulder shite.

 

[Pyro]

lol BMan. a charlie horse is a muscle cramp. people yell "charlie horse" when they hit somebody in the hopes that they will give them a charlie horse (which CAN work, I've seen it).

 

[Keeripes!]

[blockquote]Fuck i got one for you. Im 24, healthy, active, work my ass off every day in construction. One morning I wake up and my shoulder is tight as fuck, i mean really tight like i can barely move the fucker. so I go to work and tell my boss im all janketty janked and I cant really do much, so he just gave me some easy jobs. around lunch, I cant move my arm arm at all. my shoulder is tight as fuck and im rendered useless. So I go home and figure ill see the doctor the next day.[/blockquote]
Damn, Drugz I hope you gets all betta soon. I wish you a speedy recovery sir. (LOL @ Jinkety Janked... Bubbles FTW)

@Brains
[blockquote]i used to get those too and then i found a cure for it, just push your leg against a wall with some force and it goes away[/blockquote]

Man I was trying my damnedest to to get that foot and leg straight, but god damn it wouldn't go.