As a white man, I can't dance. Secondly, I sweat like a dirty, filthy pig on the dance floor. Thirdly, I think I can dance when I'm drinking, and it makes my chances of getting laid all the worse. Good thing I have a girlfriend now, so I don't have to worry about "picking up" in the clubs. I hated clubs since I was 19. Now that I'm 26, I realize I'm over a quarter century dead.