I couldn't tell if that was a joke or not, but since your an admin, I built the plugin.
ConVars: sm_fire_on <1/0> // Decides whether the plugin is on or not.
Commands:
* There a two types of fires, A burn, and the TF2 fire. fire1 is the burn, fire2 is the TF2 burn
1. sm_fire1 <target id>...